out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
