after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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