Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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