Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
