Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
