it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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