I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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