it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
