So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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