I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
