Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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