let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
