I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
