Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
