dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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