the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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