Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
