after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
