Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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