is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
