i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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