i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
