Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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