a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
