I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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