Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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