Can Purell be used as lube?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
