i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
