I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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