Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Randomize
