she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
