Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
