You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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