Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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