We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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