well you can't waste a boner
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
