i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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