while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How's work?
Spinning.
She told me I should be a condom model.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
