I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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