morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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