normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
