Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize