Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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