We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
