they need to just BURY HIM!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
