NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
