Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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