sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
