I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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