looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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