I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
